"Girls and books don’t mix, they would joke, though somewhat serious."
This brought back memories of one of my best friends in high school -- the smartest kid in our class, by a mile -- being outright forbidden, by his parents, to talk to girls. Of course, that just meant that he went behind their backs to date a lovely girl at our school. They were discovered, he was grounded; and when his punishment ended, he went right back to dating her.
Exceptionalism also does not mean that our communities are immune from the challenges and problems that every individual and society faces universally. I can never get how many desis do not understand that and that their own life experiences have not brought them to this understanding. No - it does not happen to just "others". I can happen to us too!
This post is timely as I just finished reading the memoir, "They Called Us Exceptional" by Prachi Gupta. I wish my parents had done what yours did, and not pushed us to skip grades and go to the best possible academic programs at the cost of a social life. I paid the price with mental health problems because of their singular focus on academics.
Thank you for sharing a story that has been so much a part of my upbringing... as the eldest daughter of two eldest and first-born in America... this notion of exceptionalism was the driving force to being seen. And, I did not disappoint: top honors, attending a sci/tech high school... blah, blah. And then, I disobeyed my father's wishes to be a pharmacist and chose public school teaching instead. Disappointment reigned... until I fulfilled my eldest daughter duties and was betrothed... perhaps a fair trade off. But I too have paid the price of often being the only S. Asian-Indian educator/administrator in schools... which led to a whole other experience of being othered.
"Girls and books don’t mix, they would joke, though somewhat serious."
This brought back memories of one of my best friends in high school -- the smartest kid in our class, by a mile -- being outright forbidden, by his parents, to talk to girls. Of course, that just meant that he went behind their backs to date a lovely girl at our school. They were discovered, he was grounded; and when his punishment ended, he went right back to dating her.
Exceptionalism also does not mean that our communities are immune from the challenges and problems that every individual and society faces universally. I can never get how many desis do not understand that and that their own life experiences have not brought them to this understanding. No - it does not happen to just "others". I can happen to us too!
This post is timely as I just finished reading the memoir, "They Called Us Exceptional" by Prachi Gupta. I wish my parents had done what yours did, and not pushed us to skip grades and go to the best possible academic programs at the cost of a social life. I paid the price with mental health problems because of their singular focus on academics.
Thank you for sharing a story that has been so much a part of my upbringing... as the eldest daughter of two eldest and first-born in America... this notion of exceptionalism was the driving force to being seen. And, I did not disappoint: top honors, attending a sci/tech high school... blah, blah. And then, I disobeyed my father's wishes to be a pharmacist and chose public school teaching instead. Disappointment reigned... until I fulfilled my eldest daughter duties and was betrothed... perhaps a fair trade off. But I too have paid the price of often being the only S. Asian-Indian educator/administrator in schools... which led to a whole other experience of being othered.